How to piss off a cranky mom in a movie theater

I love the superhero genre. I enjoy spending a couple of hours in a dark theater with some popcorn and a soda rooting for the hero to outwit the villain on the big screen. I like the idea of good triumphing over evil. I like fight scenes and the thrill of the chase.

However, when it comes to my own life, I don’t like conflict. I never have. It always seems to find me though, and sometimes its hard to just let things go.

For example, I’m the one at the movie theater who has to sit in front of the person who keeps kicking my seat…Or right next to the family with the screaming child…Or in front of the person who has to open 42 candy wrappers during the movie.

Do I say anything? No. I usually either sit and bear it, or will get up and move seats so I don’t have to have a confrontation with someone.

Until tonight.

Even though I haven’t been feeling well in several days, I had promised my daughter that we could go to the movies on my next Friday off. I really didn’t feel like it, but I keep my promises. So, my husband and I picked up one of her friends and we headed out to see the latest Marvel super hero movie.

I guess being sick makes me a little cranky. Right as the movie started, a group of four teenage boys  entered the theater. They were horsing around and talking really loudly, cussing and just generally being obnoxious.

I anticipated they would quiet down once the movie got underway. We were sitting mid-theater and they sat closer to the front  so I  also figured it would be easy to just ignore them.

I was wrong.

They never quieted down.  It was very distracting and it, well, pissed me off that I spent money on tickets and concessions and couldn’t enjoy the movie. I looked around the theater and saw a few families with young kids. I noticed they weren’t looking at the screen either. They were staring at the jerks in the front of the theater.

After about 45 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. My intention was to go out and tell one of the employees to come in and quiet them down. Then a whole new string of profanities floated out from their mouths and enough was enough. I faintly heard my husband say “uh oh” as I popped out of my seat, marched down the stairs and across the mid-theater walkway, leaned over the back of their seats and said, “Either shut up or get out!”

All four boys sort of slunk down in their seats and mumbled something I couldn’t hear. I turned back around and headed up to my seat. The theater broke out in applause! I sat down and asked my husband, “were they clapping for me?” He had the funniest look on his face and said, “yup!”

Those boys didn’t make another peep the rest of the movie. Not a sound! When the movie ended they were the first ones out of the theater.  We gathered our trash and headed out with the rest of the crowd, and as we spilled out into the hallway, one woman turned to me and said, “Way to go, mom!” and another one said, “Yeah, you’re the real hero.” I just kind of laughed and said, “thanks.” Then someone else said, “No, thank you!”

Just for the record, no…I don’t think I’m a hero. I think I was tired, cranky and sick and had just had enough.

I thought about what happened all the way home. First, I still can’t believe I did that. Second, I didn’t realize I said what I did so loudly (my daughter and husband confirmed the entire theater could hear me). Third, I’m glad none of them had a gun and shot me, and, finally, it felt really good to have the courage to say something instead of suffer in silence…especially when I apparently did what several other people wanted to do!

I can’t guarantee that I will be doing that again anytime soon though!

Until next time,



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